Jan. 26, 2019
Describe a wedding from three different viewpoints
The Bride, the Best Man, and the Bored Nephew
By Richard Zowie
I can’t believe I’m doing this! I’m 23 years old and, maybe I’m too young, but I’m in love with Evan. He loves me, at least, I’m pretty sure he does. Sometimes I have doubts, but that’s just pre-wedding jitters, right?
Daddy’s crying. I’ve never seen him cry before, not even when he got word that Uncle Larry had been killed in the first Gulf War, just two days before Saddam “So Damn Insane” Hussein surrendered. I guess letting go of a daughter is hard to do.
As I look into Evan’s eyes, he’s smiling, but…he’s like a sphinx. No idea what he’s thinking. Maybe he’s just nervous. After all, he does not like being the center of attention.
The Best Man
I seriously cannot wait for this stupid ceremony to be over. Thank God I majored in theater arts for a year at college; otherwise, there’s no way I could pretend I’m happy for both of them.
So, Evan’s marrying Laura. Well, isn’t he one lucky son of a bitch? He does not deserve her, and she thinks she’ll be happy forever? Yeah, right. I wonder if she’ll ever find out that in the six-month engagement, Evan cheated on her three times. Well, five times if you count that he and his ex-girlfriend Crissy had fun three times. Evan tends to brag about his conquests when he’s drunk, and when he’s sober, he never brags about anything.
I would’ve loved to date Laura. Ever since high school, I’ve thought she’s the most beautiful, sweetest girl ever, but I don’t think I could pay her to realize I exist.
One of the bridesmaids keeps smiling at me…or is she smiling at one of the other groomsmen?
The Bride’s 10-year-old nephew
This suit itches! Mom knows how much I hate wearing ties! I’m bored! I can’t wait until the reception, so I don’t have to sit still anymore! Why did Mom make me go? She won’t even let my iPad! I’ll never get married!
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