In my personal life, I have been going through what look to be some very personal, painful changes. In the past few weeks I’ve felt a lot of heartache, sadness and grief. There are a lot tears built up inside, but they have yet to be released. I think there is too much disbelief, astonishment and regret for them to flow yet. Perhaps they will.
I’ve written many thoughts into a journal, most of which will never see the light of day. Far too personal. I’ve also written angry thoughts that I have since deleted.
Writing when you’re hurting can be a very cathartic experience as you take the bitterness, sadness and anger you feel inside and transfer it down to paper or to a computer screen. When you’re done, perhaps you feel better. Perhaps there is a future story that will be told along with the lessons you’ve learned by the mistakes you’ve made or the signs you missed or the things you’ve been discontent with but never had the sufficient self-respect to assert yourself and speak out.
It’s been too many days since I updated my blogs, and I have come to this conclusion: I am a writer. My job is to write. While I am hurting, I must compartmentalize my sorrow and grief and not allow myself to wallow in self-pity to overpower me. While this hurts, life does go on. I must write and continue telling stories. I must continue to chronicle my writing life, to give my opinions, to give encouragement and to make people laugh.
Now, back to work.
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